Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan
Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan is a 2006 film about Borat leaving his home in Kazakhstan to go to the USA and record a documentary for the fictional Kazakh Ministry of Information. He leaves behind his mother and wife, bringing along his obese producer Azamat Bagatov.
- Directed by Larry Charles. Written by Sacha Baron Cohen, Peter Baynham, Anthony Hines and Dan Mazer.
Dialogue
- Borat:Jagshemash! My name-a Borat. I like you. I like sex! Is nice.
- About the quote: Borat introduces himself to audience.
- Borat:This-a my country of Kazakhstan. It locate between Tajikstan, Kyrgyzstan and assholes Uzbekistan.
- Borat:He is my neighbor Nushuktan Tulyiagby. He is pain in my assholes. I get a window from a glass, he must get a window from a glass. I get a step, he must get a step. I get a clock radio, he cannot afford. Great success!
- About the quote: Borat complains about his supposedly irritating neighbour who tries to copy his every move.
- Borat:This is Natalya. She is my sister. She is number-four prostitute in whole of Kazakhstan. Nice!
- Borat:This-a my wife Oksana. She is-a boring.
- Oksana:(in so-called "Kazakh language")What did you say about me, you skinny piece of shit?
- Borat:(in so-called "Kazakh language") Not now, please.
- Oksana:(in so-called "Kazakh language") Why don't you do something useful and dig your mother a grave?
- Borat:A-My hobbies... ping pong, sunbathe, disco dance... and on weekends, travel to capital city and watch ladies while they make toilet.
- About the quote: Borat introduces his favourite hobbies.
- Borat:Although Kazkahstan glorious country, it have problem too. Social, economic and Jew. This why Ministry of Information have decide to send me to US and A, greatest country in the world, to learn lessons for Kazakhstan. I will travel with most venerable producer, Azamat Bagatov.
- Borat:Urkin, not too much raping... humans only.
- About the quote: Borat cautions Urkin, the town rapist.
- Borat:Doltan, I'll get you a new arm in America.
- About the quote: Doltan is an amputee who lost his right arm.
- Oksana:(in so-called "Kazakh language")If you cheat on me, I will come over there and snap off your cock.
- Borat:I arrive in America's airport with clothings, U.S. dollars and a jar of gypsy tears to protect me from AIDS.
- Borat:Wawaweewa... Ooh-la-la... Wawaweewa... King in the castle, king in the castle! Have a chair. I have a chair. Oh, go do this, go do this, king in the castle!
- About the quote: Borat sees that his hotel room is large, with two beds and chairs and is delighted, since it is supposedly his first time encountering such a place.
- Azamat:(in so-called "Kazakh" language)America is known for its sense of humor. UN survey says Kazakhstan has 98th lowest humour. We must improve.
- Borat:Should I make a joke about my mother-in-law?
- Pat Haggerty:Yes, in America, that is a very popular joke. Do you have a joke about your mother-in-law?
- Borat:Yes. I had-a sexytime with my mother-in-law.
- Pat Haggerty:Uh, what time?
- Borat:Sexytime. I had-a sexytime with my mother-in-law.
- Pat Haggerty:You had sex with your mother-in-law?
- Borat:Yes.
- Pat Haggerty:Uh, I don't think Americans would find that funny.
- Borat:No, it's not a joke.
- Pat Haggerty:Yeah, we're talking about, uh, humour.
- Borat:Yes, you asked me about my mother-in-law...
- Pat Haggerty:Do you have a joke about your mother-in-law?
- Borat:No, why make a joke on a mother-in-law?
- About the quote: Borat meets humor coach Pat Haggerty to learn to make jokes.
- Borat:Do you ever laugh on people wth retardation?
- Pat Haggerty:Here in America, we try not to make fun of or be funny with things that people don't choose.
- Borat:But perhaps you have not seen someone with very funny retardation. My brother Bilo have-a very funny retardation.
In mental retardation, it causes a lot of pain and hardship for a lot of families.
- Borat:Sometime my sister, she show her vazhïn to my brother Bilo and say "You will never get this, you will never get this! Lalalalala!" When he behind his cage, and he go crazy-crazy, everybody laugh, she go "You will never get this. But one time, he break cage and he get "this" and then we all laugh! High-five!
- Pat Haggerty:Now, um, uh, no, that would not be funny in America, okay?
- Borat:What is a 'not' jokes?
- Pat Haggerty:A 'not' joke is when we're trying to make fun of something and what we do is, we make a statement that we pretend is true but at the end, we say 'not,' which means it's not true.
- Borat:So teach me how to make one.
- Pat Haggerty:Alright. What color is your suit?
- Borat:This suit is gray.
- Pat Haggerty:Gray. I would call it blue, okay?
- 'Borat:It's gray.
- Pat Haggerty:Alright, it's blue-gray. But it...
- Borat:Well, it's more gray.
- Pat Haggerty:It's certainly not black, right? Alright, let's say it's gray. But it's not...
- Borat:It is gray.
- Pat Haggerty:Okay, so a 'not' joke, I would say, 'That suit is black. Not!'
- Borat:This a suit is NOT BLACK.
- Pat Haggerty:No, no, 'not' has to be at the end.
- Borat:Oh, okay.
- Pat Haggerty:Okay.
- Borat:This suit is black not.
- Pat Haggerty:This suit is black. Pause. You know what a pause is?
- Borat:Yes.
- Pat Haggerty:This suit is black. Not!
- Borat:This suit is black, pause, not.
- Pat Haggerty:No, you don't say 'pause.' This suit is black... That's a pause. Not!
- Borat:This suit is black...
- Pat Haggerty:Okay, um... I don't... I don't...I'm not quite...
- Borat:...Not!
- Borat:This C.J. was like no Kazakh woman I had ever seen. She had golden hairs, teeth as white as pears and the asshole of a seven-year-old.
- About the quote: Borat watches a re-run of the televisio series Baywatch, where he falls in love with C.J. Thompson, the character played by Pamela Anderson.
- Borat:In Kazakhstan, it is illegal for more than five woman to be in the same place except for in brothel or in grave. In U.S. and A., many womens meet in a groups called feminists. I find more. Chenquieh.
- About the quote: Borat meets up with the Veteran Femenists of America.
- Borat:So what-a means this-a femenism?
- Woman seated three seats away:It's the theory that women should be equal to men in matter economic, social and... political.
- Woman seated one seat away:You are laughing.
- Borat:Yes.
- Woman seated one seat away:That is the problem.
