Anonymous

This page is for famous or notable quotes whose author is unknown. If you know a definite source of any of these, please move them to the appropriate page.

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

A

• "Alphabets always start with the letter 'A.'"    

Simple: You always have to start somewhere

• Always, always, always, read the directions.

Simple: Always read the directions.

• A balanced diet is a biscuit in each hand.

Simple: (joke)If you have a biscuit in each hand, you’re like weighing scales and holding both cookies means you stay balanced.

• A program with a colorful GUI is like a woman with too much makeup. Shiny on the outside - awful on the inside.

Simple: A program which looks good is like a woman wearing too much make up. They look good but are actually very bad.

• A real man doesn't cry. He whines.
• Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Simple: You start liking someone more when they are not with you.

• Absence makes the heart grow fonder, for somebody else.
• Absence makes the heart go wander.
• Absence makes the strong hearts fonder and the weak eyes wander.
• All airs and no graces makes you a dull boy.
• All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.

Simple: All that is needed for badness to win is for good men to do nothing.

• All true wisdom is found on t-shirts
• All generalizations are false.
• Almost anything is easier to get into than out of.
• An adult bears the emblemless marks of experience, not the delusive corrugations of age.
• An apple a day keeps the doctor away.

Simple: Eating an apple a day keeps you healthy.

• Anything not worth doing is worth not doing well.
• Architecture is the art of wasting space.
• Art is not a thing, it is a position one takes.
• Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
• As you move through life, set aside good ideas and give them to others to encourage and inspire.
• The first victim of anger is the angry man.

B

• Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but sometimes you may have to give a stupid, or misinformed beholder a black eye.

• Beauty is only skin deep. But, ugly is to the bone. Beauty fades away, while ugly holds its own.

• Behind every great man, there is his ass.

• Better to have failed your Wassermann test than to have never loved at all.

• Believing isn't Seeing, Seeing is Believing.

• Build something that's foolproof, and only a fool will use it.

C

• Culture is to make a nice drinking bowl from one's enemy's skull. Civilization is to go to prison for that.

D

• Don't always look at the brighter side you may go blind

Simple: Sometimes you can't pretend that things are going well.

E

• "Everything before 'but' is bull..."

F

• Faith is a journey, not a guilt trip.
• Faith is antonymous with logic.
• Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.

Simple: Few women tell what their age is. Few men act how they should in their age.

• Five out of four people have problems with fractions.
• For every action there is an equal and opposite government program.
• For the common man can do nothing: The fact he undertakes the task makes him uncommon.
• For him that stealeth, or borroweth and returneth not, this book from its owner, let it change into a serpent in his hand and rend him. Let him be struck with palsy, and all his members blasted. Let him languish in pain, crying aloud for mercy, and let there be no surcease to this agony till he sing in dissolution. Let bookworms gnaw his entrails...and when at last he goeth to his final punishment, let the flames of Hell consume him forever. - anonymous "curse" on book thieves from the monastery of San Pedro, Barcelona, Spain
• Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
• Fish are like visitors; they start to smell after three days.
  • This is taken from Benjamin Franklin quote from his Poor Richard's Almanack.

G

• Getting hit in the nuts is funny until it happens to you.
• Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
• Go long or go home.
• God doesn't need our worship. Doesn't he have enough?
• God is man's way of glorifying his own importance.
• God is Polish, someone might as well be.
• God said "Let Newton be" and then there was light.
• God said to Jesus, "come fourth in to heaven" but Jesus came fifth and won a dvd player...
• Nature and Nature's laws lay hid in night:
• God said, "Let Newton be!" and all was light.
  • This epitaph by Alexander Pope intended for Sir Isaac Newton is sometimes followed by the Anonymous creation:
    • The Devil muttered, "This must not be so",
      And with "Let Einstein be!", restored the status quo.
• God said to Moses 'COME FORTH' - Moses came fifth.
• Good friends are like stars, you don't always see them but you know they are always there.
• Government philosophy: If it ain't broke, fix it 'til it is.
• Greatest gift one man can give another; the awesome responsibility of freedom.
• Guns and roses, make but poses.

H

• Half of the harm that is done in this world is due to people who want to feel important.
• Happiness is being married to your best friend.
• He who is silent speaks volumes.
• He wields a badminton racquet as most would wield a samurai sword: two-handed, and badly.
• He's like Johnny Vegas, in Johnny Vegas' body.
• History shows that life is the cheapest commodity.
• Honk, if you have a horn.
• How can you be in two places at once when you are not anywhere at all? -- the name of an album by Firesign Theatre
• He's a man of few words...a few words every ten seconds.
• A Human is a collection of desires, rationality is to know how many one can satisfy.
• Here lies Les Moore, four slugs from a .44, no Les no Moore ("Tombstone" movie gravemarker)

I

• It's Showtime!!!
• I go to school to gain knowledge. Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. I go to school to become corrupt.
• If it is to be it is up to me.
• If practice makes perfect, and nobody is perfect, then why practice?
• If it looks like there's nothing to worry about, that's when you really have to worry.
• I am completely racist against idiots.
• I always finish what I...
• I am not a crook...I am however a long staff with one end being hook shaped.
• I code, therefore I am.
• I do not forgive.
• I don't fear death; it's re-incarnation I dread.
• I don't have an attitude problem: you have a perception problem!
• I don't know who this "Anonymous" guy was, but he sure said a lot!
• I don't know, so maybe I'm not. (Saw it on a T-shirt)
• I don't need your attitude, I have one of my own!
• I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it!
• If life is love and love is life, why am I.
• If you're too open minded your brains will fall out.
• If you are not over minded you forget your P's and Q's
• I hate to see you leave, but I love to watch you go. (Quote from movie "Face Off")
• It happened how it happened, and it couldn't have happened any other way.
• Intelligent insults are too often wasted on the uncommonly stupid.
• I love people who pave the way for me.
• I Facebooked your mom last night.
• I feel bad staring without buying a ticket.
  • Quote for Stewie Griffin of Family Guy, created by Seth MacFarlane
• I feel like a passenger, being driven down the roads i don't wish to go down.
• I have an idea! .... Oh, wait...no, that was just a tumor.
• I know exactly what is right and what is wrong...I just don't care.
• I like big words, and I shall not prevaricate.
• I swear: God has a vendetta against me. Perhaps, it is because I refuse to believe in Him.
• I think, and that is just about all I can say for sure, I think.
• I think, therefore I am wrong.
• I think, therefore I am... I think.
  • Nordom, from the computer game Planescape: Torment by Black Isle Studios.
• I think, I think, therefore I may possibly be...
• I think, therefore I am...therefore you don't exist.
  • Could this be form a Dilbert? "I think therefore I am, you are not me and therefore irrelevant"
• I think, there for I am...not related to you.
• It's the horse you are the most unwilling to ride that will take you the furthest.
• I used to think I was indecisive...but now I'm not so sure.
• I was born intelligent. But, education ruined me.
• I will not suffer fools gladly.
  • "For ye suffer fools gladly, seeing ye yourselves are wise." Christian Bible II Corinthians 11:19
• I would insult you, but you're not bright enough.
• I would rather die on my feet than live on my knees - Zapata
• I'd rather have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal lobotomy.
  • source: Tom Waits ~ Often attributed to Groucho Marx but no substantiating evidence exists.
• I'll be there for you...until I find someone new.
• I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
• I'm having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I have forgotten this before!
• I'm not a genius, I just read that off the sign behind you.
• I'm not as stupid as you look.
• I'm not as think as you drunk I am. - Major Margaret Houlihan, MASH.
• I'm on top of the world and afraid of heights.
• I'm spending money I don't have, on things I don't need, with people that I don't like ~ Possibly Callum Ashdown
• If intelligence had anything to do with the voting process, then all the smart people would vote the same.
• If you find yourself goin one step forward and two steps back.....turn around.
• If you've never seen a shotgun being fired then HONK LOUDLY!
• If your glass is half empty, fill it.
• . . . In social darwinism, not surviving does not mean literally dying. It can mean being poor, for example. Now, in real evolution, a poor man does not simply say "good job" and take his minimum wage. He picks up his rifle and takes a higher wage by force. That is what I hate about commies and capitalists- They don't realize they are the same God damned thing- 'Its mine!' Capitalism is a rich man saying it. Communism is a poor man saying it.
• I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.
• If 'pro' is the opposite of 'con', what is the opposite of 'progress'? ~ Possibly by Mark Twain.
• If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
• If at first you don't succeed, don't take up sky-diving.
• If at first you don't succeed, bomb defusal is not for you.
• If it's worth fighting for...it's worth fighting dirty for.
• If I’m going down I’m taking somebody with me.
• If someone says that impossible is nothing, ask him to dribble an (American) football.
• If the left half of the brain controls the right hand, and the right half the left, than left-handed people are the only ones in their right minds.
• If the sheep and wolves have votes, then the election is probably fixed.
• If the sheep vote, then so must the wolves. ~ Punk aphorism.
• If the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
• If voting changed anything it would be illegal.
• If winners never quit, and quitters never win, what loser came up with quit while you're ahead?
• If you can't appreciate it, you don't deserve it.
• If you can't dazzle them with your intelligence, baffle them with your bull@#&$
• If you cannot win, make the one ahead of you break the record.
• If you don't like relationships that end, why start them in the first place?
• If you love something, you hold onto it until your arms are wrenched from your sockets... and then... then you put it in a scissors hold.
• If you speed like lightning, you’ll crash like thunder
• In God we trust, all others we monitor.
• In most instances, all an argument proves is that two people are present.
• In the beginning there was nothing. And the Lord said 'Let There Be Light!' And still there was nothing, but at least now you could see it.
• In the nursery rhyme 'Humpty Dumpty' where does it say that he's an egg?
• Inside every fat person, is an even fatter person eating their way out.
• Instant clever: just add Latin.
• It always feels better to walk on the path you made yourself.
• It doesn't matter whether you view the glass as half full or half empty, there's still only half a glass' worth there.
• It has been brought to my attention lately that I appear to be larger than life; but, I am certain, life will outgrow me in time.
• It is better to keep people at arms length than it is to keep people at knives length.
• It is difficult to understand how a pyramid is built from sitting on the top of it.
• It is never too early to sow the seeds of sycophancy.
• It is not ignorance that is the problem, but the illusion of knowledge.
• It is only funny until someone gets hurt. Then it's hilarious.
• It is our duty to consider such lunacy.
• It takes skill to climb the corporate ladder on your knees.
• It's been a long week today.
• It's better to wear out than to rust out. (Richard Chamberland)
• It's better to burn out than to fade away (Neil Young/CrazyHorse)
• It's difficult to notice the ground beneath your feet, when you're trying to touch the stars.
• It's hard to answer what's wrong... when nothing is right.
• It's like they're there telling me the doctor will see me as long as I sit in the waiting room all day and don't read anything.
• It's mind over matter. You don't mind, it don't matter.
• It's not a bug, it's a feature.
• It's not how much you love her, its how much you would care when she leaves you.
• It's not the fall that kills you — it's the sudden stop at the end.
  • potential source: Discworld novels by Terry Pratchett, first published in 1983
  • potential source: Army Airborne School instructors ("blackhats") [1], World War II (no citation provided)
• It's not the size of the dog in the fight; it's the size of the fight in the dog.
• It's physically impossible to be as dumb as you look.
  • If it were, my eyes would burn everytime I walked onto the street.
• It's what's not there that makes what's there what it is. ~ Welsh band Catatonia.
• It doesn't matter how hard you believe something or how many people believe it: it doesn't make it true.
• It's the devil inside me that I don't trust.The Italian Job
• I always mean what I say but I don't always say what I mean. (I may have made that one up)
  • There's something like this in Alice in Wonderland.
  • Also in the book Horton Hatches an Egg (or Hatches a Who)
• Is my proper tie? -- Tom Verlaine, singer in the band that changed music forever; Television
• If you can't convince, confuse!
• If it wasn't for the bullet, nobody would fear the gun.
• Insanity: Expect different results by doing things the same way day in and day out.
  • Isn't this Albert Einstein's quote?
• If your wish to change sour papaya into sweet ones, you need to change the way you grow papaya.
• Individuality is a cliché
• I'm going to live forever. Or die trying.
  • Yossarian from Catch-22?
• I'm so hungry I could eat a horse.
• I'm so tired I could sleep a horse.
• I swear to drunk I'm not god
• I'm there when you think im gone. I'm gone when you think im there.

J

• Jackass! - This is probably a reference to the movie Happy Gilmore, when Donald (Joe Flaherty) makes repeated attempts to distract Happy's (Adam Sandler) golf game.
• Just because you are chained to the porch doesn’t mean you can’t bark at the cars.
• Jesus loves you. Everyone else thinks you're an ass@&!$.
• Jesus saves. He passes to Moses. Moses shoots - he scores!!!
• Jesus saves. Moses invests.
• Jesus was a black hippie.
• Jesus saves. The rest of you take 6d10 damage.
• Jesus saves. When he shops at Wal-Mart
• Jeez, drive this car any slower and we'll be able to witness the Rapture.
• Justice without power is incompetence. Power without justice is also incompetence.
• Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in.
  • Michael Corleone in the Godfather part III

K

• Karma spares no one.
• Kidding: code for "serious".
• Kill someone you're a murderer, kill a million you're a king.
• Kill one man, you're a killer, ten you're a monster, one hundred you're a hero, ten thousand you're a conqueror!
  • See Jean Rostand (On God)
• King reigns; Patriarch commands; soldier fights; citizen works for all 3; lawyer confuses all 4; doctor messes up all 5; pharmacist banes all 6; priest blesses the burial of all 7; undertaker buries all 8; Devil takes all 9, and Woman deceives all 10! Vangelis S. Athanassiou.
• Knowledge brings fear
• Knowledge has never been known to enter the head through an open mouth.
• Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.
• Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens. --Jimi Hendrix—Variation of ancient native-American saying: The smart man talks, the wise man listens.
• Kinda like Running as fast as you can to stay in the same spot.
  • This happens in Lewis Carroll's Through the Looking Glass
• Knowledge is knowing something, wisdom is knowing what to do with that knowledge.

L

• Life lasts a snap of a finger. Read.
• Language is too specific to define It.
• Laziness is the driving force of the progress. ~ Variant ~ Laziness is the mother of invention
• Laziness travels so slowly that poverty soonly overtakes him.
• Less is more. Source: Architect Mies Van der Rohe.
• Life begins at uni, and then again at forty; so, look on the bright side: with that many lives, probability dictates you'll get laid at least once.
• Life does not have a happy ending.
• Life has no opinion.
• Life is a gun. Without bullets, it won't shoot.
• Life is a secret mission; so secret that not even I, who am dying from it, was given the password.
• Life is a sexually transmitted disease.
  • A deadly disease
• Life is a toy. Play with it properly and it'll never break.
• Life is but a paradigm of conflicting self-interests.
• Life is good.
• Life is good. A good life is even better.
• Life is hard and then you die.
• Life is like a dry erase board. We can write on it whatever we like, but eventually it all gets erased.
  • Unless someone sees what you wrote, likes it, and puts it on their board for it to be shared again.
• Life is like a skunk. It's fuzzy, and it stinks.
• Life is terminal.
• Life is the vacation from the eternity of non-existence. Enjoy it.
• Life is tough. It's tougher if you're stupid. John Wayne
• Life is unsure, always eat your dessert first.
• Life is the whim of 100 trillion cells to be you for a while.
  • Cancer is when one of these cells suddenly changes its mind.
• Light can be blinding.
• Light is as much a guide as it is a distraction.
• Life isn't like a box of chocolates: it isn't as sweet.
• Like a piece of litmus paper he has always been quick to take the colour of his times. (referring to Aldous Huxley.
• Lirine nuk e solla une, por e gjeta ne mesin tuaj - Scanderbeg, Skenderbeu
• Live by your dreams, not by your fears.
• Live and learn. Die and remove yourself from the gene pool. It all works out.
• Look after the Living.
• Look, I have eleven fingers. One, two, miss three, four, five, six-seven-eight-nine-ten, [referring to "missed" third finger] ELEVEN!
• Lottery is a tax on hope.
• Lottery is the greatest invention ever created by mankind, to separate a fool from his money.
• Lottery is a tax on people who cannot do the math.
• Love is impossible to define: it is the root of all good and all evil at the same time.
• Love makes time pass. Time makes love pass.
  • I believe this was originally in french: l'amour fait passer le temps, le temps fait passer l'amour
• Love is not finding someone perfect, but finding someone imperfect and loving them perfectly. ~Variant~ Love isn't about finding the perfect person, but learning to see an imperfect person perfectly. -This variant looks like something Sam Keen wrote
• Life is a bitch, then you marry one.
• Life Is a bitch and im her pimp.
• Life is a bitch that charges too much.

M

• Making the world smarter, one idiot at a time.
• Mankind can not, and will not, destroy its' self. But a few men can.
• Meaning itself has no meaning.
• Men are from Earth. Women are from Earth. Deal with it.
• Mine always was something of a 'touch and go' philosophy: I touch; they go.
• Mirror, mirror, on the wall: who is the 'atheist' of them all?
• Misery loves company. -Aesop's Fables
• Misery is the fastest breeding substance in the world.
• Most live and learn but by the time most learn it is too late to live.
• My karma ran over your dogma. (Wiccan bumper sticker)
• You've never really made a mistake, until you've done it twice.

N

• Nature is neither cruel, nor friendly. It's purely indifferent.
• Never anger the person who packs your parachute. - My dad, an ex skydiving instructor
• Never be afraid to let people know who you are!- Anonymous...
• Never forget that your tools were made by the lowest bidder.
• Never look down on anyone unless you're helping him up.
• Never mess up an apology with an excuse.
• No matter what you do, everything you do will have a price... and you won't like it.
• No matter how much the wind howls the mountain will not bow to it. ( Mulan, Disney animation film)
• No one's perfect; well there was this one guy, but we killed him, possibly because we felt threatened.
• No quarter given, and none received.
• Nobody ever said that life is fair.
• Nobody is perfect. I am nobody.
• None of us are as stupid as all of us.
• Not all girls are evil. Some just want to rule the world and some are just stupid and don't know the meaning of evil.
• Not one human on this planet is stupid. They just forgot the meaning of it.
• Nothing helps a bad mood like spreading it around. -possibly from the comic strip "Calvin & Hobbes".
• Nothing is impossible, even the possibility of this sentence being false.
• Nothing is impossible, just improbable. (Hitchhikers guide to the galaxy)
• Nothing is more certain than the certainty of being uncertain.
• Nothing is right in my left brain, nothing is left in my right brain.
• Nothing is impossible, but not all is possible.
• Not only is there no God, but you can't get a plumber during the weekend. Woody Allen

O

• Of course life sucks, that's why god lets you die.
• Oh thee pain...
• Old accountants never die - they just lose their balance. ~ Also appeared on a mug.
• Old skiers never die - they just go downhill. ~C.V.B.
• Old firemen never die - they just burnout.
• Old fisherman never die - they just smell like it.
• Old lawyers never die— they just lose their appeal. ~ This appeared on a mug belonging to John Mortimer.
• Old mathematicians never die - they just go past their prime
• Old pilots never die - they just don't get up as quick.
• Old chemists never die - they just stop reacting.
• Once you have glimpsed the world as it might be, it is impossible to live anymore complacent in the world as it is.
• One cannot hope to bribe or twist, / Thank God, the British Journalist, / But, seeing what the breed may do, / Unbribed, there's no occasion to.
• One man's terrorist is another man's freedom fighter. - From a James Bond movie, Die Another Day
• Only three things keep us from getting bored: War, zoos, and shrimp cocktail.
• Only perfect practice makes perfect. (Sensei Edward Blanco (lafayete,Louisiana))
• Optimists are merely pessimists in denial.
• Opinions are like bungholes,everyone has one and they all stink!
• Only men of small beauty believe all fair women stupid
• Oh my, my spleen fell out.

P

• Pain is ever present, but never ever lasting.
• Pain is just weakness leaving the body.
  • Marine Corps uses this saying
  • Equinox (gyms) advertising tagline
• Pain is temporary. Glory is forever.
• Pain is your friend; It lets you know that you're still alive.
  • • Paraphrased from a Dick Marcinko book
• Patience is a very tedious virtue (alt. Patience is a virtue, albeit a tedious one).
• People in your life will come and go like the ocean tides, but few will leave such an imprint on your soul that it can not be washed away.
• People say I shouldn't frown because it uses more muscles than smiling. Then I point out that Americans need their exercise.
• People too weak to follow their own dreams will always find a way to discourage others.
• People who run aren't cowards, just smarter then those who charge.
• Pessimism is the state of being always right, or at least pleasantly surprised. (attributed to Robert M. Koch)
• Pessimist's definition of an Optimist: Someone who knows today is so bad, tomorrow has just got to be better.
• Pessimists are just realist optimists.
• Physical prowess is for cowards; a little pain builds character.
• Pie a day keeps the flies away.
  • Southern saying referring to shoo fly pie.
• Please take my comments personally, otherwise it looks like I hate the world.
• Poinis poinis roach card. (probably a Dadaist).
• Power is the ability not to have to please.
• Practice does not make perfect.....Perfect practice makes perfect.
• Practice what the priest preaches but not what the priest practices.
• Practice what you preach.
• Pray for what you want. Work for what you need.
• Procrastinate later.
• Procrstinate now. Don't put it off.
• Play the game but don't let the game play you.

Q

• Quick action in emergencies saves lives, push up to the front of the line.
• Question everything, accept nothing.
• Question it if it's free.
• Quotation is a serviceable substitute for wit; adaptation, even more so.

R

• Reach for the stars, or you'll never touch the sky.
• Real programmers don't comment their code. If it was hard to write it should be hard to understand. ~ Appeared in Real Programmers Don't Use Pascal, but may or may not have been in existence beforehand.
• Realists are just pessimists looking for an excuse for themselves.
• Reality is a poor substitute for my dreams.
• Reality is for people who can't handle drugs. (Attributed to Robbie Williams)
• Reality is where Illusion is at its strongest. (Graffiti at Snetterton Motor Racing Circuit).
• Reality is overrated. -Joe "Maine" Bailey
• Right or Wrong is always dependent on the context.
• Rule 31: There is no such thing as excessive firepower. There is only open fire and reload.(may be from Schlock Mercenary.)

S

• Sarcasm without subtext is nothing at all.
• Sex is good. Ask my wife.
• Sex is like NASCAR. Are you on the track?
• She's been around the block more times than a communist hooker.
• Should have, would have, could have but didn't.
• Show me the way to Ambaraluwa!
• Since light travels faster than sound, people appear bright until you hear them speak.
• Six inches to the right and Lincoln would have seen the end of the play.
• Skydiving does not require a parachute, skydiving twice does. (Tyler Keith)
• So close, and yet so far away.
• So long as a man remains free, he strives for nothing so incessantly and so painfully as to find someone to worship. - A paraphrase/alt translation of Fyodor Dostoyevsky, in "The Brothers Karamazov": "Man, so long as he remains free, has no more constant and agonising anxiety than find as quickly as possible someone to worship."
• Some people are born lucky, some make their own luck.
• Some people can carry a tune, and others just drag it behind them in the dirt. (Woody Allen ?)
• People who are worried about what they eat, but do drugs, drink heavily, or smoke confuse me.
• Someday we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.
• Spherical bass: no matter how you drop it, it just keeps on rolling.
• Starbuck's is about the only place I know where a mug can be half full, and yet contain no coffee.
• Stupid people do stupid things; Smart people outsmart each other. (Lyrics from System Of A Down - DDevil, but not sure if that is the original).
• Shit happens.
• Shit happens, deal with it.
• Shit happens. Deal.
• Shit happens when you party naked.
• Strike hard, run fast.
• Stuff happens. You can't change it, might as well deal with it and move on.
• Stupid people shouldn't breed.
• Stupid people should breed so we can use them instead of lab mice.
• Stupidity is permanent; ignorance can be fixed.
• Sucks to be you.

T

• Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.
• Talent is like a hemorrhoid, it can appear on any ass.
• Talk is cheap when the story’s good.
• Tell us what you need and we'll tell you how to get by without it. ~ Heard from an old Quartermaster Sergeant in the Australian Army.
• Temptation is seen from a distance never near.
• The apotheosis of nihilism is suicide.
• The average girl would rather have beauty than brains because she knows the average guy can see better than he can think.
• The beatings will continue until morale improves. - attributed to the Commander of the Japanese Submarine Force
• The best defense against logic is ignorance.
• The best thing to give to your enemy is forgiveness; to an opponent, tolerance; to a friend, your heart; to your child, a good example; to a father, deference; to your mother, conduct that will make her proud of you; to yourself, respect; to all men, charity.
• The candle that burns twice as bright burns half as long. (Tyrell in Blade Runner)

* The brightest flame burns the quickest. Metallica- 'Mama Said'

• The day Microsoft makes a product that doesn't suck is the day they make a vacuum cleaner.
• The death of three civilians and a dog causes uproar and sadness. The death of 20,000 soldiers causes dissatisfaction.
• The devil we know is better than the devil we don't.
• The Eclectic Rede: Keep What Works, Fix What's Broke, Dump the Rest.
• The family that prays together stays together
• The faster you run up the stairs, the less you remember why you did...
• The fat lady sung.
• The glass is empty.
• The glass isn't half empty. It isn't half full. It's just twice the size it should be.
• The glass isn't half empty. It isn't half full. you just need to add ice.
• The goal of science is to build better mousetraps, the goal of nature is to build better mice.
• The grass is always greener, after a nuclear test.
• The grass is always greener over the septic tank. ~Kathy Reichs I think, maybe in Grave Secrets. Also title of an Erma Bombeck book...
• the grass is always greener than anything of the colour red.
• The gratuitous, usage, of, commas, is, really really really annoying, to, read.
• The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step and a lot of griping.
• The aim of spring cleaning is to sweep the house with a thorough glance.
• The line between what is right and what is wrong is thin and indistinct. It takes true character to discern between the two.
• The more something costs, the farther you will have to send it away to be repaired.
• The more you study, the more you know, the more you know, the more you forget, the more you forget, the less you know. So why study?
• The more you sweat in training, the less you bleed in battle.
• The only certain things in life are death and unsatisfaction.
• The only lesson history has taught us is that man has not yet learned anything from history.
• The only thing in life achieved without effort is failure.
• The only things you regret in life are the risks that you didn't take. (Michael P. Daigle)
• The only time you have too much fuel is when you are on fire. ~ Helicopter pilot wisdom
• The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds. The pessimist fears this is true. ~ By James B. Cabell
• The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. Unless they don't like the drink, then it's reversed.
• The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The thirsty person doesn't care and the blind person doesn't see the glass at all. Which one are you?
• The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The realist gets another drink.
• The optimist sees things the way they should be. The pessimist sees things the way they are.
• The point is just to be honest about what you’re doing.
• The problem is not the budget: Money does not teach dummies. You need to stuff some brains in the dummy first.
• The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself? ~ possibly http://bash.org/?4753. ~This is from "Stupid White Men" by Michael Moore.
• The proof of the pudding, is in the refuting.
• There is always one more idiot than you counted on.
• The Second Coming has already occurred. Jesus returned, took one look at the Christians, shook his head and said, "Fuggedaboutit."
• The Skoda has the suspension of a bridge, and is about as manouevreable.
• The sooner you fall behind, the more time you have catch up. ~ By Laurence Lyndon Jones.
• The things we remember best are those better forgotten.
• The tricky thing about playing chicken (Mr Ryan), is knowing when to flinch. ~ Scott Glenn's character (Bart Mancuso) in 'The Hunt for Red October'
• The unordinary man is the same as the ordinary man, but the unordinary man thinks in bigger terms and in more fruitful areas.
• The vision of a champion is someone who is bent over, drenched in sweat, at the point of exhaustion when no one else is watching.
• The words 'I think' are generally followed by something very, very stupid.
• The world is like a two-sided coin, sometimes people forget which side is twoed.
• The will to win means nothing without the will to prepare.

• There are only 10 types of people in the world; those who understand binary and those who don't.
• There are only 10 types of people in the world; those who understand trinary, those who don't, and those who mistake it for binary.
• There are three types of people in this world: the ones who can count, and those who can't.
• There are three types of people in this world: the ones who keep you alive, the ones who would otherwise cause you to die, and the ones who somehow manage to do both at the same time.
• There are two types of people that go around beardless; boys and woman, and I am neither.
• There is a fine line between coincidence and fate.
• There is a reason for everything.
• There is no such thing called 'normal life', there's just life. Quoted form Tombstone
• There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
• There is no such thing as GRAVITY ....Its just that the world SUCKS (* Bala Krishna )
• This is Frank Zappa. Source: The Real Frank Zappa Book.
• There are no stupid questions only stupid people. (Mr. Garrison of South Park)
• There was a particularly vicious rumour going around about my not having a girlfriend: it turned out to be entirely true.
• They may not remember what you said but they will remember how you made them feel. -Maya Angelou.
• Think of the Web as a big bathroom wall. And everyone has a marker.
• This morning my cat told me I'm "special". It also told me I look stupid talking to cats.
• This sentence no verb.
• Thomas Wrathbone is just this guy, you know?
• Those who don't make decisions never make mistakes.
• Those who fight and run away, live to fight another day.
• Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don’t.
• Those who suppress freedom always do so in the name of law and order.
• Those who think they know-it-all are very annoying to those of us who do.
• Thou shalt not weigh more than the fridge.
• Thoughts don’t hurt, actions do.
• Three kinds of people, the Wills, the Won'ts, and the Can'ts, the Wills try everything, the Won'ts oppose everything, and the Can'ts won't try anything. From V.I.N.C.E.N.T in the The Black Hole.
• Three snows upon the crocuses ere the Winter will be gone. ~ This saying was either taken from or incorporated into a Lake Erie-area folk song about the arrival of spring.
• To ignore the past is to jeopardise the future.
• To refuse praise is to seek praise twice.
• To the pessimist the glass is half empty, to the optimist the glass is half full, to the computer programmer the glass is twice as large as it needs to be.
• Toss the bag!
• ... Too bad no one cares.
• Treat a person as he is, and he will remain as he is. Treat him as he could be, and he will become what he should be.
• Treat crictism as your friend.
• Truth is stranger than fiction because fiction has to make sense. (Tom Clancy said something similar)
• Take control of your own destiny
• They don't know what I think, but for you, I'm one of them.

• They condemn what they do not understand.

• The time heals wounds, but the author neglected to impart just how much time (From: Love Story)

V

• Vincere vel mori!
• Violence is not the answer, however it is a pretty good guess.
• Violence is not the answer: Violence is the question; 'YES!' is the answer!
• Violence is a form of emotional retardation
• Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent. (from Isaac Asimov's Foundation series (said by Salvor Hardin))
• Violence is the solution to every problem; if it's not solving the problem, you're not using enough of it.
• Violence is the answer for it is the only way man has ever solved his problems.
• Vitality shows not only in the ability to persist, but in the ability to start over.

W

• We are all terminal from the moment we are born.
• We learn from history that we learn nothing from history.
• We suffered no damage in these operations nor was there any collateral damage to civilian life or property.

Simple: We did not get hurt very much in what we did nor did anyone die or have things destroyed.

• Well done is better than well said. ~ Benjamin Franklin
• What is popular is not always right; what is right is not always popular.
• when stars fade and there is no air to breathe, i will always love you.
• When you meet a stranger, give him a smile. It may be the only sunshine he sees all day.
  • Attributed by some to Wilson Mizner(1876-1933)
• When people disagree with me, usually, it is because they are wrong.
• Whenever anyone tells me "Life is hard," I say, "Compared to what?"
• When ever people say express your individuality they don't actually mean it.
• Where a man's 11th Edition Encyclopedia Britannica is, there shall his heart be also.
  • Note: I read this as an attributed quote in a book published in the 1980's but have been unable to find the book, or the reference since then.
• Where patience fails, force prevails.
• Whether you think you can, or you think you can't, you're right.
• why be difficult when you can be impossible
• Why buy the cow when the milk is free?
• Why buy the cow if you don't know what the milk tastes like?
• Why do doctors call what they do 'practice'? because they are constantly changing their minds on your diagnosis
• Win the yes need the no to win against the no. Jean Pierre Raffarin France ex-Prime Minister
• Win or lose, we still booze!
• Wise men make proverbs. Fools repeat them.
• Women can fake orgasm, men can fake the whole relationship.
  • may be Sharon Stone
• Work hard! There are millions on welfare who are depending on you.
• World Peace is jeopardized by the single fact that guests don't reveal the date of their departure.
• Writing about music is like dancing about architecture.
  • Note: This has been attributed to Elvis Costello, Laurie Anderson, Thelonius Monk, Frank Zappa and Steve Martin, but the actual author remains unknown. ~ Sometimes cited as "...talking about architecture."
• Write a witty saying and your name will live forever.
• We are legion!

Y

• Yes I eat okra and yes I know what the Pythagorean theorem is.
• You, are the most original excuse for a human being I have ever met.
• You can choose your friends, but you can’t choose your enemies.
• You can fool all of the people some of the time, and some of the people all of the time, but you can't fool all of the people all of the time... Abraham Lincoln (attributed to). ("You can fool some people some time, but you can't fool all the people all the time!" - Bob Marley - Get Up Stand Up)
• You can lead a horse to water, but you can't beat a swab test.
• you can never return to the place you have left.
• You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friend's nose.
• You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't wipe your friends on your sleeve.
• You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your relatives! (from one of the Revenge of the Nerds films)
• You can please all of the people some of the time, and some of the people all of the time, but you can't please all of the people all of the time.
• You can put the cat's kittens in the oven but that doesn't make 'em biscuits. (Moody's Dad from The Amanda Show? that's where i heard it)
• You can’t see the future through a rearview mirror.
• You can't see the future through a rearview mirror... unless you're driving in Alberta.
• You can sue me for stealing your money but I'll countersue you for prejudice against thieves!
• You ever feel like the world's a giant game of musical chairs and the music has stopped and we're the only ones without chairs?
• You have such a pretty smile… it's a shame the things you hide behind it.
• You know that every time I try to go where I really wanna be, It's already where I am, cause I'm already there?! Sugar - System of a Down
• You know when you've an absinthe hangover: onomatopoeia hurts.
• You must walk a dark path to reach a bright future. Just make sure its not too bright or you might go blind.
• You can do anything you want for a short time.
• You roll in the thunder and I’ll reap the whirlwinds.
• You're completely individual, except that you're exactly the same as everyone else
  • Sometimes cited as: You're completely individual, just like everyone else.
  • Also: You are unique… just like everyone else.
• Young people treat life as if it's an endless roller coaster when it's really a waltz
• bring forth the beer and think of your wife, and thou shalt go home happy!
• You know you're weird when you quote yourself, but if I wasn't weird no one would like me!
• Yesterday is past, tomorrow is a mystery... today is a gift - that's why they call it the present.
• You are a twat, no one likes you....but you still have your dignity. Nope, there it goes.
• You can get more with a smile and a gun than you can with just a smile.
• Your best isn't good enough!
  • possible source: Anthony Robbins
• You're not as dumb as you look. No human could be that stupid and live.

Z

• Zero in on your target, and pull the trigger!
• Zero multiplied by anything still equals zero.
• Zero is like the number one, but one less.