Discworld is a comedic fantasy book series by British author Terry Pratchett set on the Discworld, a flat world balanced on the backs of four elephants which are in turn standing on the back of a giant turtle, the Great A'Tuin. The stories are arranged in several different story arcs that are further explained in the Wikipedia article on the Discworld reading order. This article also shows quotes of the video game adaptations of the series.
The Colour of Magic (1983)
- If complete and utter chaos was lightning, then he'd be the sort to stand on a hilltop in a thunderstorm wearing wet copper armour and shouting 'All gods are bastards'.
- Simple: He drew large amounts of chaos around himself.
- What he didn't like about heroes was that they were usually suicidally gloomy when sober and homicidally insane when drunk.
- Simple: What he didn't like about heroes was that they were suicidally sad and despressed when not drunk, and murderous when drunk.
- "It could be worse," he said by way of farewell. "It could be me."
- Twoflower was a tourist, the first ever seen on the Discworld. Tourist, Rincewind had decided, meant "idiot."
- What heroes like best is themselves.
- The only reason for walking into the jaws of Death is so's you can steal his gold teeth.
- Some pirates achieved immortality by great deeds of cruelty or derring-do. Some achieved immortality by amassing great wealth. But the captain had long ago decided that he would, on the whole, prefer to achieve immortality by not dying.
- Simple: Some pirates lived on forever by doing great deeds, or getting lots of money. This captain had long ago decied that he would live on forever by simply not dying.
- I've seen excitement, and I've seen boredom. And boredom was best.
- Simple: A boring life is much better than an interesting/eventful one
- 'We don't have gods where I come from,' said Twoflower.
'You do, you know,' said the Lady. 'Everyone has gods. You just don't think they're gods.'
The Light Fantastic (1986)
- The pen is mightier than the sword ... if the sword is very short, and the pen is very sharp.
- Simple: The pen is only stronger than the sword if the pen is very sharp, is mocking the common s aying/belief that you can accomplish more with words
- Of course I'm sane, when trees start talking to me, I don't talk back.
- Darkness isn't the opposite of light, it is simply its absence.
- Ankh-Morpork! Pearl of cities! This is not a completely accurate description, of course — it was not round and shiny — but even its worst enemies would agree that if you had to liken Ankh-Morpork to anything, then it might as well be a piece of rubbish covered with the diseased secretions of a dying mollusc.
- Simple: Ankh-Morpork was not a beutiful city, but it was the most succesful. It was actually very unclean/ugly.
- Simple: Dying is an everyday event, but losing ones mind to insanity or giving up is unnatural.
Equal Rites (1987)
- "She was already learning that if you ignore the rules people will, half the time, quietly rewrite them so that they don't apply to you."
- Simple: If you act outside the rules/laws, people will assume they do not apply to you.
- "It is well known that a vital ingredient of success is not knowing that what you're attempting can't be done."
- Simple: To accomplish something that cannot be done, you cannot be aware that it is not.
- "It was a small village, and wouldn't have shown up on a map of the mountains. It barely showed up on a map of the village."
- Simple: It was a very small village.
- 'And he goes around killing people?' said Mort. He shook his head. 'There's no justice.'
Death sighed. Template:Smallcaps he said, Template:Smallcaps
- Simple: There's no justice in the world, just that death happens to everyone.
- 'It would seem that you have no useful skill or talent whatsoever' he said.
'Have you thought of going into teaching?'
- Simple: It does not look as if you have any skills, you should be a teacher.
- Template:Smallcaps said Death.
- Simple: When people die, they are rarely at the best point of their life.
- History always has a few tricks up its frayed sleeve. It's been around a long time.
- Although the scythe isn't pre-eminent among the weapons of war, anyone who has been on the wrong end of, say, a peasants' revolt will know that in skilled hands it is fearsome.
- Simple: Although not usually seen as a weapon, angry peasents/citizens can use it to good effect.
- "You won't get away with this," said Cutwell. He thought for a bit and added, "Well, you will probably get away with it, but you'll feel bad about it on your deathbed and you'll wish — " He stopped talking.
- Simple: You will probably get away with your crime, but you'll feel guilty for it...
- 'And what would humans be without love?'
Template:Smallcaps, said Death.
- Simple: Without love, humans would be rare, beacause they wouldn't reproduce.
- The vermine is a small black and white relative of the lemming, found in the cold Hublandish regions. Its skin is rare and highly valued, especially by the vermine itself; the selfish little bastard will do anything rather than let go of it.
- Simple: Noone puts the value of the vermine's fur higher than the vermine itself.
- He did of course sometimes have people horribly tortured to death, but this was considered to be perfectly acceptable behaviour for a civic ruler and generally approved of by the overhelming majority of citizens.
- Simple: He did have people killed, but this was seen as normal behaviour for ruler.
- The truth isn't easily pinned to a page. In the bathtub of history the truth is harder to hold than the soap, and much more difficult to find...
- Simple: Truth is hidden among falsities, and slips from the hand that holds it.
- Some people think this is paranoia, but it isn't. Paranoids only think everyone is out to get them. Wizards know it.
- Simple: Wizards thinking everyone will kill them isn't unfounded because they know everyone is.
- 'Poor I don't mind,' said the Seriph. 'It's sobriety that is giving me difficulties.'
- Simple: I don't mind not having money, it's not being drunk that's causing problems.
- Take it from me, there's nothing more terrible than someone out to do the world a favour.
- "I meant," said Ipslore bitterly, "what is there in this world that makes living worthwhile?"
Death thought about it.
Template:Smallcaps he said finally. Template:Smallcaps
- Simple: 'Why should humans bother living?' 'Cats, cats are nice.
- Death isn't cruel – merely terribly, terribly good at his job.
- Simple: There is nothing cruel about Death, it just always happens.
Wyrd Sisters (1989)
- No gods anywhere play chess. They prefer simple, vicious games, where you Do Not Achieve Transcendence but Go Straight to Oblivion; A key to the understanding of all religion is that a god's idea of amusement is Snakes and Ladders with greased rungs.
- Simple: A key to understanding all religions [on the Discworld] was that they enjoyed cruelty.
- Everywhere's been where it is ever since it was first put there. It's called geography.
- This was real. This was more real even than reality. This was history. It might not be true, but that had nothing to do with it.
- Simple: History isn't neccesarily true, but it still exists as fact.
- "There must be a hundred silver dollars in here," moaned Boggis, waving a purse. "I mean, that's not my league. That's not my class. I can't handle that sort of money. You've got to be in the Guild of Lawyers or something to steal that much."
- Simple: A regular theif cannot steal to much money, you would have to be a lawyer or something to steal that much.
- Above the hearth was a huge pokerwork sign saying "Mother". No tyrant in the whole history of the world had ever achieved a domination so complete.
- Simple: This mother has more control over her kids than any tyrant in history.
- On nights such as these the gods, as has already been pointed out, play games other than chess with the fates of mortals and the thrones of kings. It is important to remember that they always cheat, right up to the end...
- Simple: Gods play games with the lives of humans, and they always cheat.
- All assassins had a full-length mirror in their rooms, because it would be a terrible insult to anyone to kill them when you were badly dressed.
- Simple: Assasins always look good, for it would be very rude to kill someone while badly dressed.
- Seeing, contrary to popular wisdom, isn't believing. It's where belief stops, because it isn't needed any more.
- Simple: Seeing is not believing, it's where belief stops.
- The fact is that camels are far more intelligent than dolphins. Never trust a species that grins all the time. It's up to something.
- Simple: Camels are smarter than dolphins: Never trust an animal that's always smiling.
- Mere animals couldn't possibly manage to act like this. You need to be a human being to be really stupid.
- Simple: Animals cannot act really stupid, only humans can be that stupid.
Guards! Guards! (1989)
- The reason that clichés become clichés is that they are the hammers and screwdrivers in the toolbox of communication.
- Simple: The reason Cliches become cliches is that they are the most useful tools for communicating.
- 'You don't get big houses and carriages without grindin' the faces of the poor a bit.'
- Simple: You do not get rich without hurting the poor people.
- All dwarfs have beards and wear up to twelve layers of clothing. Gender is more or less optional.
- Simple: All dwarves dress alike, and gender is not that important.
Moving Pictures (1990)
- Of course, it is very important to be sober when you take an exam. Many worthwhile careers in the street-cleaning, fruit-picking and subway-guitar-playing industries have been founded on a lack of understanding of this simple fact.
- Simple: It is very important to not drink before taking a test, the street-cleaning, fruit-picking, and street-performing industries are based on the lack of understanding of this.
- Inside every old person is a young person wondering what happened.